Let’s face it: you’re terrible at gifts. That “World’s Best Friend” mug you bought last year? It’s currently holding paintbrushes in their garage. That heartfelt letter you wrote? They definitely used it to light a candle during a power outage. But what if I told you there’s a way to give a gift so personal, so diabolically perfect, that your friends will never forget you—even if they try?

Enter Custom Cards Against Humanity, the only gift that says, “I know exactly how messed up you are, and I’m here for it.”

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Step 1: Admit You’re Basic

Your friend’s birthday is coming up, and you’re Googling “funny gifts” like a normie. Newsflash: Another “Wine Mom” tote bag won’t cut it. You need something that stings just right—like a card that says, “Remember that time you _______ at the wedding? Yeah, we do too.”

Custom Cards Against Humanity lets you weaponize your inside jokes. Imagine their face when they draw:

• “The real reason Karen and Dave broke up: _______.”
• “What’s in Jake’s search history? _______.”
• “The real reason we’re all in therapy: _______.”

It’s like a scrapbook, but with more emotional damage.

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Why Custom Cards Against Humanity? Let Us Count the Ways

1. Because Generic Gifts Are for Cowards

A fruit basket says, “I care.” A custom card that reads “_______ : The reason we can’t go to Applebee’s anymore” says, “I’ve been taking notes.”

2. Your Friends Deserve to Suffer

Game night’s gotten stale. Karen keeps winning with “A micropenis” and “The inevitable heat death of the universe.” YAWN. Time to spice things up with cards like:

• “_______ : The only thing worse than Karen’s kombucha.”
• “What’s crusty, sticky, and lives in Dave’s basement? _______.”

3. You’re a Gift-Giving Genius Now

Forget “thoughtful.” Go straight to “psychotically observant.” Custom cards let you:

• Roast your friend’s TikTok obsession (“_______ : Trending for all the wrong reasons”)
• Immortalize their questionable life choices (“Why did you move to Phoenix in July? _______.”)
• Blackmail them gently (“_______ : The real reason you’re not allowed near the office printer.”)

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How to Create Your Masterpiece (In 3 Easy Steps)

1. Unleash Your Darkest Thoughts

Grab a drink. Open Notes app. Scroll through your group chat for inspo. Remember: Nothing’s off-limits. (Except maybe that thing from Cancun. Maybe.)

2. Become Shakespeare, But Funnier

Use our idiot-proof design tool to turn your chaos into art. Add inside jokes, embarrassing photos, or that one meme only your group understands. Pro tip: The uglier the font, the harder it hits.

3. Wait for the Drama to Unfold

Ship your cursed creation to their doorstep. Then, sit back and wait for the text: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” followed by 17 crying-laughing emojis.

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When to Use Custom Cards Against Humanity

• Bachelor Parties
  Replace awkward strippers with “_______ : The real reason the prenup’s 80 pages.”
• Family Reunions
  Finally answer “Why won’t Uncle Ted come around anymore? _______.”
• Tuesday
  Because why not?

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Warning: Side Effects May Include

• Sudden popularity (you’re the “fun” friend now)
• Emotional vulnerability (someone will cry-laugh)
• A desperate need to top yourself next year (good luck)

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Ready to Start Your Reign of Terror?

Click here to create your custom deck. Use code FRIENDLESS for 10% off your first order—because let’s be real, you’ll need it.

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P.S. If anyone asks, we never taught you this.